Darwin Awards 2007

Because they are an annual collective of merriment:
[Source: www.darwinawards.com]

THE DARWIN AWARDS - January 2008

Announcing the new, the beloved, the 2007 DARWIN AWARD WINNERS!

"Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by accidentally removing themselves from it. "

This was the year of the Squashed Darwin Award Winner. THREE independent groups of people attempted to remove the supports from beneath a barn, a water tower, and a heavy factory roof. In all cases, the structures collapsed without their aptly-named
supports.

THE 2007 DARWIN AWARD WINNERS WERE SELECTED FROM 17 NOMINEES:

What Goes Up Must Come Down (8976 votes) 80%
The Enema Within (4252 votes) 80%
Support Group (3728 votes) 78%
Weight Lift (2191 votes) 78%
Stop. Look. Listen. (1763 votes) 77%
Beer for Bears (2225 votes) 76%
Mole Hunt (5366 votes) 75%
A Prop-er Job (4431 votes) 74%
Oil Tank Trampoline (5737 votes) 74%
Cow-ard (38 votes) 72%
Barn Demolition (3336 votes) 71%
Superior Momentum (2112 votes) 71%
Elephants Press Back (1249 votes) 71%
Electronic Fireworks (3620 votes) 70%
Fatal a-Traction (52 votes) 68%
The Laptop Still Works! (1172 votes) 57%
Fatal Foaming Action (1443 votes) 49%

http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2007.html

RUNNER UP FIVE:
THE LAPTOP STILL WORKS (Confirmed True by Darwin)

"Driving is not a time to be practicing your multitasking skills,"remarked CHP spokesman Tom Marshall, commenting on a 29-year-old computer tutor's decision to drive along Highway 99 in California while working on his laptop. He drifted over the center line, and was killed by oncoming traffic. CHP officers found Oscar's computer still running, plugged into the Honda Accord's cigarette lighter.

REFERENCES: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-12.html

RUNNER UP FOUR:
SUPERIOR MOMENTUM (Confirmed True by Darwin)

June 2007, Illinois | Two Valparaiso men tested their reflexes by playing "chicken" with a train. Which man could stay on the rail the longest in the path of an oncoming train? At the stroke of midnight, the contest was decided. The winner, aptly named Patrick Stiff, lost his life. The train continued on, as the conductor was unaware that it had hit anyone.

REFERENCES: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-07.html

RUNNER UP THREE:
BARN DEMOLITION (Unconfirmed by Darwin)

January 2007, West Virginia) Three friends set out to dismantle a dilapidated barn one bracing winter afternoon. Speaking of bracing... One industrious man fired up his chainsaw and ripped through a crucial support post. Carrying the weight of a full barn roof, those wooden support beams were all that stood between the demolition worker and structural collapse. It was all fun and games until the roof, sans support, succumbed to the pull of gravity and flattened the man with the chainsaw. As a consolation prize, the deceased was indeed successful at demolishing the barn.

(Darwin notes, this story is unconfirmed, but no disputes have come to my attention, as usually happens with bogus stories.)

REFERENCES: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-02.html

Addendum: This was the year of the Squashed Darwin Award Winner. Two other groups of people attempted to remove the supports from beneath a water tower, and a heavy factory roof. In both cases, the structure collapsed without their aptly-named supports. Duh!

REFERENCES: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-09.html

RUNNER UP TWO:
MOLE HUNT (Confirmed True by Darwin)

January 2007, East Germany | One man's extraordinary effort to eradicate a mole from his property resulted in a victory for the mole. The metal rods he pounded into the ground and connected to a high-voltage power line, electrified the very ground the man stood upon. He was found dead at his holiday property on the Baltic Sea. Police had to trip the main circuit breaker before venturing onto the property.

REFERENCES: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-01.html

RUNNER UP ONE:
WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN (Confirmed Double Darwin Award)

June 2007, South Carolina | A passing cabbie found a 21 year-old deceased couple laying naked in the road an hour before sunrise. Authorities were baffled. There were no witnesses, no trace of clothing, and no wrecked vehicles present. But investigators eventually found a clue high on the roof of a nearby building: two sets of neatly folded clothes. Safe sex takes on a whole new meaning when you are perched on the edge of a pyramid-shaped metal roof. "It appears as if [they] accidentally fell off the roof," Sgt. McCants said.

REFERENCES: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-05.html

AND THE 2007 DARWIN AWARD WINNER IS...
THE ENEMA WITHIN (Confirmed True by Darwin)

May 2004, Texas | Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor... well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party.

Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces,right up the old address!

When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.

The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself.Toxicology reports measured his blood alcohol level as 0.47%.

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said
they were surprised to learn of the incident.

REFERENCES: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-13.html

REVIEW: Popping Out for "Popotan": DVD Shrugs Off Its Hentai Roots

[Article written for Toon Zone News 12.11.07]

Quests. Difficult things really; they have a start, a middle and an end. For Popotan, the story has arguably one, maybe two of these elements as three sisters partake a quest to find fulfillment—I think.

I had the fortunate luxury of going into this DVD box set utterly cold; aside from what was on the package, I had little idea what I would uncover, and certainly, Popotan uncovers quite a lot. It doesn’t seem particularly bothered as to the age of what it uncovers, providing those who are uncovered have a) breasts, and b) bottoms. If possible, both should be exposed in bathing areas and explored with as much tactile contact as possible. In fairness to the anime, there is far more to this show than the rather exploit-to-titillate visuals that parade throughout the stories. The origins of the series however offer a little less substance.

Popotan is the brainchild of Akio Wantanbe (who also worked on the more famous Kiki’s Delivery Service) and was originally produced as a hentai adventure, first for the PC then later ported to the Playstation 2. In the original game, you played Chris, a male who lives in a house with three sisters and their android maid. Naturally, being hentai the game’s focus was on the romantic relations between Chris and the girls in the game. Thankfully the anime series that followed shortly after has a little more substance to it.

Popotan: The Complete Series is the tale of three sisters called Ai, Mai, and Mii who travel in their time-jumping house with their maid, the enigmatic Mea. They all search for Popotan—or dandelions—that Ai can speak to with her mind. With the Popotan’s help, the three sisters seek Shizuku: the end and the beginning of their quest. It introducds them to many adventures, new friends, and original locations they can gratuitously disrobe in.

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to the insatiable urge to pull the disk out of my DVD player after watching half of the first episode. Fortunately, it's one of the benefits of watching a DVD for the sole purpose of reviewing it that you don’t get the luxury to stop—you have to press on.

And it was a worthwhile mandate. In fact, I watched all twelve episodes in one day. Yes, get past the rather sluggish and seemingly vacuous first five minutes of episode one where young boy Daichi has an accidental yet literal run-in with Ai’s breasts; get past the rather meandering and inane plot that staggers through the opening story and forge on to episode two. There you’ll find Popotan really finding its feet. It’s actually very good; you don’t have to get titillated by the cartoon breasts to enjoy this story, though clearly the producers feel it helps.

Yes, there is a lot of nudity and suggestive postures. While there is only one scene which implies sexual activity, every angle is geared to exploit the feminine body. If that sort of stuff offends you, be warned: there is lots of it. And while I’d hope that wouldn’t stop you from experiencing Popotan, there are occasions where the nudity is pretty disquieting. I don’t know how young the youngest sister is meant to be, but her fascination with breast size and her own penchant for nudity can sometimes be a little uncomfortable to watch. But that doesn’t stop Popotan being a lovely story in itself. The key is to put aside any personal ideology when viewing the irrelevant bathtub scenes. Just as the sight of Sipowicz’ ass doesn’t stop you from enjoying an episode of NYPD Blue, the discerning, open-minded viewer should be able to get past the gratuitous nudity; look past the tasteless icing and enjoy the tasty cake.

As the episodes continue, the story layers build up without the audience even being aware of it. The issues of being a traveler and the damage one's journey's have on those friendships born from wandering become a key arc, and the beauty of having a house that time travels onwards on each jump by five years, means that characters can return at totally different points of their life. So what initially seems like a gentle mix of odd character stories later becomes the tapestry which the show uses to present the ultimate question to the sisters: what do you really want?

The beauty of the show’s characters is not in themselves. Ai is quite drippy, Mai is a whiner, and Mii is annoyingly loud, but the central protagonists' chemistry endears them to the audience, and watching these simple yet effective episodes unfold along with the rich dynamic of players becomes a joy to behold.

The animation itself has some occasion flashes of smart direction (a table tennis game between Mea and Mai is a great sequence), but overall the animation is fairly uninspiring, with character models, expressions and artistic direction drawn from anime's box of clichés. Some of the backgrounds hold some charm, but overall the animation remains pretty crass, uninspired and stiff.

Aurally, the international dub is pretty good with careful attention to synchronization and voices which are raw and honest to the original Japanese. The incidental music complements the tone of the show and the opening and closing themes are extremely catchy.

The box set itself is nicely presented, with a transparent sleeve to collect the three brightly designed volumes. The information booklet that comes with each volume is neatly presented with a little bit of character biography.

The discs' interactive menus are simple, pretty and straight forward—just as I like it. Unfortunately, bonus features are weak: we have a small art gallery on each disk and a few Geneon adverts.

Overall this is a highly recommended DVD set. The complete series is around 300 minutes in length, and the audience can enjoy getting to know a set of warm, friendly characters while anticipating a decent ending.

Through no intention of mine, Popotan has become a welcome addition to my bookshelf and I recommend it to anyone who enjoys a friendly, character-driven comedy. If that isn’t your thing, and you just like cartoon breasts and provocative poses, hey, there is something for you guys too.

Whatever you think about naughty nudity, don’t let that put you off exploring a really enchanting fantasy tale. Please don’t let pride prevent you from purchasing the near perfect Popotan!

REVIEW: "Beck" Strikes a Chord: The Mongolian Chop Squad Returns in Volume 2

[ARTICLE written for Toon Zone News 12-19-07]

Ladies and Gentlemen! Tonight—and for tonight only—on your very own DVD player comes the return of the guitar-strumming, mic-fumbling, tom-tapping heroes of teen angst. Yes, light your lighters, spill your drinks and get all sweaty for Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad Volume 2.

For those slightly too many people not in the know, Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad was the creation of Harold Sakuishi and originally featured in Monthly Shōnen Magazine. More recently it has been adapted for animation and distributed in the US in English-friendly form by Funimation. Volume 1 contained the first five episodes of this 26-episode adaptation. If you have no interesting in reading that previous review by clicking here, I will summarize Volume 1 as an enjoyable, gentle piece of Shōnen that captured the spirit of its manga origins and of the music business in general. Aside from some questionable success with the Western dub, it was a light but fun entry into the story. It also came with a free guitar plectrum.

Volume 2 is more of the same, though I must confess my disappointment with the free gift. As Volume 1 had generously started my personal journey into the music world with a free guitar plectrum, I naturally expected the second DVD to include a free guitar to go with it. Alas, all I got was another plectrum. On the upside, it was a different color.

Gifts aside, I can safely say I enjoyed Volume 2 far more than Volume 1. It took me some time to get used to the pacing, characters and story line in the first volume. In fact, the characters weren't immediately likable, and it took those first five episodes to build a rapport. By the time you get to the Volume 2 and the sixth episode of the story, you are a little more entrenched in their enchanting if turbulent world; the characters mean a little more, and the viewing expectations have found a happy medium.

The pace of Beck is one of the show's strongest merits. It doesn't rush its way through the story. By the final episode of this second volume, the story's protagonist, Koyuki, has only just played his first gig with the band. Quite often the spine of the story plays second place to the character orientation situations that surround it. Volume 2 pushes Koyuki and his friends through some social challenges which all play out satisfactorily. In particular, the bullying arc—a story thread that carries through these five episodes—has a particularly enjoyable momentary resolution.

As with Volume 1, the show portrays the entry level environment of the music industry with dignity and a fair amount of accuracy. Having myself taken a stab at the music industry, I can attest to many of the issues, circumstances and overall portrayals of the music world. Band politics, musical technique, rehearsals, sound checks, and gig performances all play very true and should resonate with any musician who has been "there". The only real downside to the series is the lack of sparkle in its range of characters. Koyuki is—as with so many protagonists in the Shōnen genre—reactive rather than active, with a flair for unattractiveness that the females seem not to notice but which can bewilder the audience. Likewise, the females neatly sit in their respective manga archetypes, and the band are just too cool to be interesting. Fortunately, a few of the older, minor players such as Koyuki's musical mentor Ken'ichi and his school teacher Momoko, add texture, but it's really the story and ambiance which holds the attention.

The DVD itself is pretty uninspiring. As with the first disk, the basic interface remains pretty but no more than functional, and this second volume even lacks the commentary track like came with the first. In fact, the special features are very barren, with little more than spiced-up excerpts to carry the bonus footage, along with the obligatory trailers.

Speaking of trailers, Funimation has once again decided to splash its faithful viewer with nostalgic memories of VHS, thanks to yet another catalog title that commences with a mandatory trailer. Ah, for the days of analog fast forward and rewind. Skipping seems to have become an unpopular option with the animation industry. Not only do you get promotional trailers listed as "bonus" or "special features" (yes, I buy DVDs purely on the hope that they have some adverts as extras), but you have a fixed one at the start! Yes, you can navigate around the title you've bought, but not the adverts! You have the choice of watching the main feature, but not the trailer at the beginning. I can't help feeling something there is the wrong way round.

Nevertheless, this is an enjoyable DVD. Essentially, it's more of the same, but I think the drama of Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad is beginning to pay off in volume two. Certainly it's a story worth sticking with that entertains and remains faithful to its source, even if the DVD itself is lacking a certain lustre. But then, no rock gig is complete without one duff track, and on that note, I will crescendo my review by underscoring that rock and roll simile: Beck's second DVD is like a solid rock band that needs to work a little harder on its image and charisma; the substance is there, you just have to look for it.

ART: Rawk Promotion Revealed.

Following on from comments made in the previous blog entry, I have a little more to impart on the Sabian promotion.

To the right of this musing, your brain should be being coaxed by your eyes to behold the store stand for the Sabian promotion I mentioned in my last blog. It was initially tested at a Florida Convention (which is where the photo comes from), though it has been through some slight changes since then. Specifically, we made some alterations to Jimmy Sullivan and Chad Smith who are in the background.

Sad thing is, living in the UK and this being a Canada/US promotion through Sabian (www.sabian.com), I may never get to see the final product. This is what precious detail as of the hard copy output to this project.

Naturally, if anyone happens to see the final product in Sabian outlets, and has a camera phone handy, send me a shot - I'm understandably curious!

In other news, I've moved one of my personal long term project, Pandemonium, a story I've been toying with for two years, from a comic platform (as it was initially conceived) to a book. Knowing me, I may swing back again, but I've been writing the first 10,000 words and I'm finding the medium of narrative is far more rewarding, giving me room for extra detail, narrative humour and story exposition. There is a little more about the project (but just a little ) at www.jamesmclean.net.

Just finished a review for Mushi-shi for Toon Zone News, which I'll be posting here based on volume one. Unfortunately, volume 2 was stolen in transit from Editor to myself. Pity, as it's an excellent show.

Also, an interview with comic artist John Rauch will be popping up on this blog as well as at Cartoons, Dammit! Stay tuned, so to speak.

Sabian, Bryar and M.A.S.K

Want some more McLean? Head to your local Sabian dealer!

Sabian.com
(US & Canada only)

The competition rules etc are on-site. It's a comic page which is the basis for a competition by Sabian, maker of those massively popular rawk cymbals.

Not only do selected Sabian dealers have the comic page by myself, in which you finish the story, but there is also a chance to meet My Chemical Romance drummer, Bob Bryar! Who could resist? I mean, another piece of McLean and a chance to get a drum lesson with some drum legend from a rather popular rock beat combo?

If I hadn't drawn it, and I lived in the US, or I lived in Canada, I would get myself a piece of myself.

In other news, the region 2 release of M.A.S.K (which I did the cover for), is delayed till November, but hey, don't you have enough McLean for this month?

***

With that shameless plug out of the way, what has McLean been up to? What does McLean recommend?

Well McLean had a rather disturbing loss of screeners this month. Okay, he has a pile mounting up to review for my editor, but he had more on the way which would have fitted with those he had to review. And what happens? Mr Postman, in his eagerness to thieve, opened the package, took the DVDs, and passed the empty jiffy onwards through the postal system.

Now, I appreciate that some postal workers may indeed be on low wages, but I can assure you Beck Vol 3 isn't going to get you anything but a DVD case in the face if it was presented to any nephew for a Birthday present. That's not to say it's bad, but of selective taste, and the third volume of a low key anime release isn't going to get you proud eyes.

Other than that, thoroughly enjoying some James Herriot in book form, made more interesting by a recent trip to the James Herriot museum found in Thirsk, Yorkshire. Interestingly, the fictitiously village of Darrowby, for which Thirsk was the basis, is remarkably similar, right down to the vet's location, and the details of the house. I recommend a visit to anyone who is lurking between Durham and York. Fascinating stuff.

Getting a little more into Heroes, but still not quite sure what the fuss is about. Same with Catch 22, a book which has gripped the world by is failing to grip me. Granted, I'm not far into it, but if it wasn't such a famous, influential classic, I'd have put it down by now.

Been listening to the Foo Fighters newest offering. Some catchy moments, but Mr Foo is getting awfully predictable in his work. You can tell where each song is going to go. Still, not terrible.

Finally, I'm looking at moving my off rumoured "Pandemonium" project to novel form. Yes, I'm going to give a go at writing a book. Having written the Batman DKA story through my student time (and surprisingly capturing the interest of literally millions across the world) I feel the urge to try a project which is solely writing, and allow any past time artwork to be focused on other projects. I just feel there is enough substance there to push it into a richer medium, and a more mainstream one too (there are far more publishers of books than comics). Posted, keep you, I will.